The Story of Mann

[ The following is completely true. ]

ndrew Mann was raised in a sixties sit-com, on the suburban fringe of Amish country, with his parents and one older brother. His family has always been, and continues to be, a reliable source of entertainment. As a child, Andrew watched too many cartoons and spent most of his time drawing superheroes and aliens. At school, he kept his fellow youngsters safe and, at home, it was usually Christmas. Andrew grew up with a large tree house that served as a pirate ship, fire station, or castle (depending on the year), and he befriended several pets, including a hamster possessed by a hunger for dog-biscuits. Andrew has spent most of his life fantasizing about outlandish characters, fantastical beasts, and parallel worlds, and he continually tries to prove that it’s been time well-spent.

Andrew’s mother (an eccentric art historian and homemaker) provided Andrew with many creative outlets and interests at an early age and eagerly indulged his compulsion to draw every single thing he imagined. His mother loved reading to her two boys, fueling their imaginations, and provided Andrew with an appreciation for literature and the arts. She also provided Andrew with costumes as long as he asked for them, which persisted through college. She imbued Andrew with an expansive love of animals and taught him how to make nacho-dip and five-layer salad.

Andrew’s father (an entrepreneur and antique-toy-collector) imbued him with a powerful sense that he was likely to be gravely misunderstood and widely disliked by everyone until he became “normal.” His father was, however, always indulgent of Andrew’s creativity, bore an exemplary work-ethic, and enthusiastically supported his son's musical pursuits. He also had his son believing that he was a disguised extra-terrestrial immigrant until Andrew was old enough to learn some good lies of his own.

In addition, both of Andrew’s parents sang so much around the home, and communicatively so, that Andrew would not understand what was so absurd about musical theater until it was explained to him at the age of fifteen.

While growing up, Andrew’s brother (a survivalist, gym-teacher, and ex-pirate) never liked Andrew nearly as much as he liked fishing, work-outs, or anything that wasn’t Andrew. As a child, his brother enjoyed hand-crafting crossbows and securing his bedroom with homemade laser-activated alarm systems. He and Andrew now get along amiably.

In high school, Andrew took every opportunity to pursue independent creative studies in lieu of "actual classes." He drummed and sang in jazz band, fell in love with outer space and girls, became the king of Atlantis for one year, anchored the daily news broadcast for two, and was eventually given his very own large closet. He spent much of his time there.

At college number one, Andrew learned the value of diplomacy.

At college number two, Andrew learned that grown-ups are not so different from kids.

Overall, college was a fine experience for Andrew. He lived on his own for the first time, discovered a passion for anthropology, film, and unconventional silverware, and spent many nights swimming at the top of a starry city skyline. He even co-founded a college record-label and helped run several songwriting organizations. College helped Andrew discover that he could achieve his goals by being either extraordinarily hard-working or inherently wealthy and he knew which one he was not.

Subsequently, Andrew has played in a slew of bands and worked on an array of other creative projects, coming to know a bevy of colorful characters and mysterious miscreants who continue to fill his world with never-ending joy and bewilderment. He even produced a very fine recording of his inner-most thoughts and feelings, for the world to hear, performed by this galaxy’s premier time-traveling lounge-rock quintet, AnaKataCombo.

Today, Andrew continues to write, draw, and make music in a cozy old burrow located deep in the northern land of mosquitos and hotdish. He resides with his rabbitty confidant, Captain Cosmo P. Quivers, as well as his slightly-less-rabbitty consort, Amanda. Whilst Andrew diligently creates new worlds and brings the sparks of inspiration to reality (and acknowledges the incontrovertible importance of such a task), he secretly dreams of moving to an abandoned missile silo somewhere in the American southwest and opening the world's finest subterranean squid-ranch.